I was recently asked to write a letter to my 5-year-old nephew and 3-year-old niece to open when they turn 16. This ended up being a more daunting task than I realized. In 34 years, I’ve lived an incredibly blessed life and accomplished a tremendous amount of learning.  

I probably have enough advice to write a blog …. But I think a few well-selected nuggets might be better. After all, advice taken to heart is far more valuable than a book that’s left unread. Besides, some of the fun of life is letting young people figure some things out for themselves.  

As I thought of wisdom to share, many practical things came to mind.  Like “Respect the power of compounding interest!” or “Avoid student debt.” and of course, “Don’t make babies with crazies!” 

Ultimately, I came to the realization that I know very little about what the world will look like in 11 or 13 years. More importantly, I know very little about what challenges they may face in their young adult lives or what their ambitions and dreams maybe. Today my nephew wants to drive big trucks, and my niece likes to sing “Let It Go” from Frozen. But who knows who they’ll be down the road!

Since I don't know what their future will look like, I thought of what advice I would offer my 16-year-old self. I thought it would be more beneficial to offer some guiding principles of life that I personally follow. After all, this is what the stoic philosophers did thousands of years ago, and we still read their ancient texts seeking their wisdom.

Note:

You’ll notice there is zero advice about finances in this letter. This letter is about how to lead a full and fulfilling life. Finances are something you must master, but if you’re not living a life worth living, what’s the point? 

Letter

Dear Adam,

Congratulations! You made it! You’re 16! If you’re reading this, it means you survived your childhood years and are growing into a young adult. I’m sure you gave your parents a few scares along the way, but that’s how grey hairs are earned. ;) 

Currently, it’s 2022, and the world has gone through some tremendous changes recently (as it tends to do). I thought it might be helpful to share some hard-earned wisdom with you as you start to take steps toward a more independent life.  

Turning 16 is a pivotal time in your life. You’re likely learning to drive. (Is that still a thing? They are working on self-driving cars these days.) Maybe life after high school is on your mind. You might be dating someone or watching as friends find their time more occupied with someone they feel is special. The future is probably an exciting thought. I know it was for me! There are so many opportunities that you might be feeling like there are too many options at times. (Quick Tip: There are no wrong answers here!)

Below are some guiding principles and observations about life that have helped me in my first 34 years. 

Live with integrity

You are only as good as your word.  It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how rich you are, or how good-looking you are. If people can’t trust you, life will be very difficult. Most of the success I’ve experienced in life wasn’t because I was better than anyone else, but because people around me felt I could be trusted. It’s that simple.  

Still, you might one day find yourself in a situation where someone’s trust in you has been hurt. Often the best thing to do is admit the mistake and make sure your actions reflect your true self moving forward. Remember, actions speak louder than words.

Life is what we make it

The level of enjoyment we find in life is directly correlated to our level of participation. You tend to regret the things you didn’t do, not the things you did. I often say luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Often the best opportunities come from: 

• Trying something new.

• Doing something difficult. 

• Meeting someone new.

• Expressing gratitude for someone you care about.

You won’t always know the outcome when you venture into these types of activities. That’s exactly why good luck can come from doing them.  

I can think of very few times in my life when I truly regretted something I did. The times I do regret were from my own inaction.  

 It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers 

Often the smartest thing you can do is say, “I don’t know.” In a world where information is at our fingertips, it’s easy to feel like we have to have an answer to everything! The world is full of unknowns. The smartest people are often better at knowing what they don’t know than the ability to shower us with facts.  

By admitting you don’t know something, you:

• Might recognize an important question that merits further investigation.

• Learn how to do something new.

• Avoid costly mistakes based on flawed logic.

The people going through life talking the loudest, claiming they have all the answers, are often the ones with the least amount of useful knowledge to share.  

 Also, remember the person who asked the question doesn’t know the answer either.  

 NASA blew a few rockets up before they got to the moon (a lot of them)

By this point, you’ve no doubt taken many tests in school. You probably did well on some of them, and I’m sure there are a couple you’d rather not think about.  

 Fortunately, this bears very little resemblance to how life actually works. Failure isn’t a bad thing; it just means you get to try again. 

Even the smartest people in the world (with unlimited resources) couldn’t build a rocket on their first try. There were spectacular failures! Rockets fell over, rockets lifted off, then fell back down to earth engulfed in balls of fire. Some just exploded like a million-pound bomb destroying everything. It’s part of the process of doing worthwhile things. If you avoid failure in life, it usually means you aren’t doing much of anything.   

What separates wise people from dumb ones is what we learn from our failures (and the failures of others). Life is tricky because we are often tested before the lesson has been taught. The good thing is you can usually take the test more than once.  

 Nobody is right and nobody is wrong

The notion of right vs. wrong is flawed. It assumes there is only one perspective. Furthermore, it’s often used as a way to pit two otherwise good people against each other. It’s easy to break things down into Yes/No sound bites, but every person has a different set of life experiences, perspectives, and resources available to them which shape their priorities as well as their needs.  

 A penguin is going to tell you the room is too hot, and the kangaroo is going to tell you the room is too cold. In reality, they just have different needs.  

 Nobody actually knows what they are doing!

Nobody really knows what they are doing. We look at authority figures such as parents, teachers, CEOs, and presidents as having “figured it out.” In reality, they are just the ones who roll up their sleeves and do their best with what’s in front of them.   

 With this in mind, my recommendation is not to wait until you have it all “figured out” or someone gives you a step-by-step guide. If you do, you’ll never get started. The best time to start is always now! You’ll figure it out as you go.  

 Never underestimate the power of kindness

One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal is kindness. Some people mistake this as a sign of weakness, but when properly used, it has the power to make someone’s day better, end arguments, build teams, defuse difficult situations, and save lives. Seriously, I’ve met people whose lives have been saved by an act of kindness.  

 So make sure to give your friends and family a hug, say thank you to others, and lend a helping hand when it’s needed.  

 Enjoy the journey 

Life is like a boat. The currents of life will push you this way and that. Sometimes we get wet, but if you know where you’d like to be and you keep the boat pointed in the right direction, you’ll get there. Don’t rush things. Enjoy the little moments, and be true to yourself.  

 Much love,

~Uncle Sasquatch

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